Tanya Boteju is an English teacher and writer living on stolen territories of the Musqueam, Squamish, and Tsleil-Waututh First Nations (Vancouver, Canada). Her YA novels, like Kings, Queens, and In-Betweens (Simon & Schuster, 2019) and Bruised (Simon & Schuster, 2021) explore queer identity and celebrate queer community. Her brand new YA novel, Messy Perfect (HarperCollins) follows Cassie Perera, a rule-following, perfectionist teen who starts an underground GSA club at her conservative Catholic high school.
We caught up with Tanya to ask her about writing Messy Perfect and what she's learned from her high school students.
Messy Perfect explores the importance of Gender and Sexuality Alliances (GSAs) and other safe and affirming queer spaces for teens. Where did you get the idea to write about the formation of an underground GSA?
I started and have been running our school's GSA for fifteen years now (alongside some other wonderful educators!). I've been able to see
—over those fifteen years
—just how much of a difference it makes to have this one entity in a school environment. Not only are our meetings a space for students to come learn, celebrate, and express a part of them they might not be able to elsewhere, but our GSA also does a lot to help educate and create change in the school itself
—everything from assembly presentations to hosting Pride events to sharing with teachers important feedback about pronoun use and more. And seeing that has convinced me (along with enough other examples and research) that GSAs are essential to schools.
Not all schools have them, though —especially some Catholic schools. My school is across the street from a Catholic school that —as far as I know —has never had a GSA and has little to address or acknowledge queerness in a positive way. So I've always wondered what it would be like to have an underground GSA from our school to theirs, so that kids could make their way over at lunch for our GSA meetings. That 'wondering' was one of the seeds for Messy Perfect.
Cassie is determined to be a good ally and create safe spaces for queer students at her school but she is overzealous at times and makes mistakes. Can you describe the lessons that Cassie learns about allyship?
Oh, Cassie. She is very high-strung and perfectionist and anxious. So allyship to her means making things "right" in the most splashy and idealistic way (like creating a GSA). This, of course, goes awry because allyship isn't about big, splashy gestures. Sure, creating a GSA so people can have a space to be themselves is an amazing thing
—but Cassie's allyship is prompted by guilt more than anything at the start. She learns that it's more important to simply talk to the person she's trying to connect with, apologize for any harm she's done, and be honest.
Allyship, in my opinion, comes from a desire for justice and liberation for all, not just guilt, and certainly not from a desire to look good. Cassie might not use those words —"justice and liberation" —but she comes from a more honest and generous place with her allyship by the end —and that goes for being an ally to herself, in some ways!
This is also a story about the harmful impacts of teenage perfectionism. What do you hope teen readers take away from Cassie’s journey of self-acceptance?
Oh, Cassie (again). I'm a perfectionist. So are at least half the kids I teach. The one place I've really been able to let go of perfectionism for the sake of my own health and wellbeing and for the sake of the thing I'm doing is in writing. The 'mess' is such a generative place in writing.
"Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor," as Anne Lamott says, and I really believe that. Lamott's essay, "Perfectionism," is one I use in my classes and I hope readers take away from its message and the message infused into Messy Perfect that the mess is actually where so much life and creativity happens. And it's perfectly normal. Every single person feels messy in their own way. If they say they don't, I don't believe them!
I hope teen readers (and maybe adult ones, too), will see a little more freedom to be messy and imperfect and also to open up to others when they feel that way. To not hide so much behind a veneer of perfection —because we all know it's a veneer, don't we?
The teenagers in this story have to do the work of teaching the adults in their lives how to be better. What is something that you have learned from the students you work with?
Oh my gosh. What haven't I learned from my students? If I have to name one thing, I guess I'll go with: holy crap you can be a teenager and still be vulnerable and honest with yourself. I definitely did not know that when I was a teenager. And though I know I said before that lots of kids I teach are perfectionists and many are still working toward that kind of vulnerability, and I think a lot of adults think teens are generally brutal to work with, so many teens are also beautifully honest and smart and funny—especially in their writing.
From their poetry to their creative nonfiction, I get such wonderful insights into who they are and what they find hard and I am always blown away by their willingness to share those things with another human, especially at their age. And through those insights into themselves, I get to learn so many insights into life—what is hard about having anxiety, what is joyful about playing the piano, what is important about leaving a sport that no longer makes you feel good, what the ginkgo leaf means in some Chinese cultures and to the person writing! I feel so lucky to be an English teacher and be given these peeks into who my students are. It's one of the things that's taught me that teens have a lot to offer adults!
Keep up with Tanya Boteju's upcoming books by following @tboteju on Instagram.
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Written by Spencer Miller